Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Vincent van Gogh

Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890) was a post-impressionist painter who is known for his strong use of color and texture. He completed over 2000 works.

From top to bottom:
The Sower
Cafe Terrace at Night
Starry Night over the Rhone
Wheat Field with Crows
Starry Night

Tuesday, December 8, 2015


Wikipedia defines scapegoat as

  "A scapegoat is a person or animal which takes on the sins of others, or is unfairly blamed for problems. The concept comes originally from Leviticus, in which a goat is designated to be cast into the desert with the sins of the community."

Scapegoats are used in other situations as well and the one I am thinking of is in the medical community. The ones that come to mind for me are the terms genetic  and somatoform. These terms are given as reasons for a person's sickness, they are the easiest answer to give but they are really just excuses in a majority of cases. The medical community is a business and a business must provide a transaction, your money for their answer. A comparison would be going to the gas station, you give them money, they give you fuel. If you don't get the fuel then you got cheated.

 I have learned that you cannot give something to someone if you don't have it. The same holds true for the medical system. So if you don't have it, you have to give something and for me the answers  received were shallow.

I do much research in the financial markets and you will see the same tendencies in this business. I read a study in which they compiled the returns of hedge funds in a year. The report found that the average return on the hedge funds were 0%. Hedge funds are some of the most profitable business models around. How do they do it? They do it with sleek marketing campaigns, good salespeople and anticipated results. People hear what they want to hear so this makes for easy targets.

The key to profits is to lack transparency. If you are not transparent then you do not tell the whole story. I found that it is not necessarily what you say, it is what you don't say. Written and spoken words that are carefully crafted have the power to change people, communities and nations.

Caveat emptor is a Latin term meaning buyer beware. The responsibility is yours to ensure the information given to you is accurate - do your homework.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

The Wheel of Death

I told one of my CFS/ME friends that having this disease is like being on a bad carnie ride we call the Wheel of Death -a nightmare of being stuck on a carnival ride that is controlled by a maniac. Sadly the journey takes you on paths you really don't want to go on from waking up in physical and mental paralysis, to the horror of watching your life pass by without resolve.

Perhaps one of the biggest obstacles is how we deal with the people around us and the most difficult, the medical system. There seems to be some obvious things to me and when I see it in all of its simplicity and realize others do not then I always ask myself "Is it just me?"

I am not sure what the medical system really offers in terms of service. For me it would compare to me taking a lawnmower that does not start and having them tell me that it is the fault of the lawnmower- maybe it has a mental problem. Then of course I have to pay professional fees for horrible service. This confuses me.

Apparently I am not the only one since this person (and the many others I talk to) had the same issues.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Economic Impact of Infectious Disease

Disease impacts more than just the physical, it is like a hurricane than tears threw several layers including self-esteem, societal arenas, psychological
health, career pursuits and economics.

World wide costs to treat infectious disease cannot be accurately measured but is estimated to in the billions of dollars.

Costs to treat are just one of the factors, the others are the loss of productivity, effect on the families and communities.

==== economic impact of

Painting: by Georges Seurat - Metropolitan Museum of Art. Licensed under Public Domain via Commons -


I talked with a close friend whom I know because of our shared disabilities. He told me his family wants him to see a psychiatrist because he is sick with infections. Yes that is a correct statement. I often wonder why people make wrong assumptions. Infectious disease is prevalent in not only in Third World countries but in First World as well. Some infections are acute in which they can kill rapidly (Malaria etc) while other infections can lay dormant but cause problems, some of them severe.

I spend much time in studying human behavior (psychology, societal trends etc) to help me understand why my journey has been so difficult. I am well convinced that people do not think for themselves but rather allow others to do that for them. Perhaps it is laziness or perhaps they leave the more difficult to the 'experts' - in which case about only 10% of the experts are experts while the rest are better actors*.

There are acute infections and sub-acute infections. The former (acute) kill while the latter (sub acute) torment people in various ways. There is much supportive evidence that mental illness has a origin in pathogens . Heart disease, arthritis, chronic fatigue syndrome, auto immune and cancer have all shown that pathogens are linked either directly or indirectly to these diseases however the status quo denies these truths in favor for antiquated thought leading the patient down darkened paths that lead nowhere. 

In order for people to recover, the medical system needs to find the beginning and not the end of the stream otherwise people suffer needlessly. The medical system needs to educate itself on the current findings of the avant garde research, not only will this save billions of dollars wasted on non-effective treatments but allow people to live happy and productive lives.

The role of infections in mental illness

The role of infections in autoimmune disease
A M Ercolini and S D Miller

The role of infections in cancer
 de Martel C, Ferlay J, Franceschi S, Vignat J, Bray F, Forman D, Plummer M (June 2012). "Global burden of cancers attributable to infections in 2008: a review and synthetic analysis". Lancet Oncol 2012 13 (6): 607–615. doi:10.1016/S1470-2045(12)70137-7. PMID 22575588.

The role of infection in heart disease
The role of infection in atherosclerosis and coronary artery disease: a new therapeutic target.
Ismail A1, Khosravi H, Olson H.

The role of infection in arthritis
The role of infection in inflammatory arthritis 

*even experts are wrong some of the time.

Painting: Georges Seurat 066" by Georges Seurat - Metropolitan Museum of Art. Licensed under Public Domain via Commons - 

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Salvador Dali

Sharing some more work from Salvador Dali, a surrealistic painter from Spain. He completed over 1500 works and serves as an inspiration for many artists.

I am particularly enthralled with some of his quotes:
  •  Each morning when I awake, I experience again a supreme pleasure - that of being Salvador     Dali.
  • The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
  • There are some days when I think I'm going to die from an overdose of satisfaction.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015


My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
    Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning?

O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer,
    and by night, but I find no rest.

       -Psalm 22

The passage above and below is from the book of Psalms and in the Orthodox tradition is recited during Holy Week in which the Crucifixion occurred. Many scholars attribute this passage as a prophetic scripture pointing to the suffering of Christ. Mystics of  the Church state that we must suffer in order to obtain the presence of God and that we must unite our sufferings with Christ. I have gone through another grueling week of suffering with my disability which affects me in many ways, I look for comfort in the storms. The painting below is from one of my favorite artists, Salvador Dali.

Many bulls encompass me;
    strong bulls of Bashan surround me;

they open wide their mouths at me,
    like a ravening and roaring lion.

I am poured out like water,
    and all my bones are out of joint;
my heart is like wax;
    it is melted within my breast;

my strength is dried up like a potsherd,
    and my tongue sticks to my jaws;

    you lay me in the dust of death.

For dogs encompass me;
    a company of evildoers encircles me;
they have pierced my hands and feet[b]—

I can count all my bones—
they stare and gloat over me;

they divide my garments among them,
    and for my clothing they cast lots.

Friday, July 10, 2015


 Stagnation is a Chinese Medicine term which has to do with the poor flow of energy. A kink in the hose so to speak that constricts flow, with constriction of energy then things don't go so good.

Relieve the constrictions then energy begins to flow naturally. Poor diet, stress, toxins, nutrient deficiency and infections all hamper the flow. Body work such as stretching (non-strenuous) will help energy to flow smoother, this is a substitute for acupuncture/acupressure.

In this link, Dr. Michael Tierra discusses Chinese approaches to the stagnation model. Dr. Tierra is a highly respected herbalist, offers training and is the chief formulator for Planetary Formulas.

Monday, July 6, 2015


I continue to make inroads with a prolonged and intensive disease. I have altered my remedies which consist largely of nutritionals and acupuncture. I have learned that all systems (endocrine, immune, detoxification, neurological etc) must be in balance for healing to occur as these autoimmune situations create trouble on a number of different levels. Of recent note is the use of hemp oil that is breaking through some of the immune problems, this in combination with the core antimicrobials has made a big difference.

As I continue to make progress, lessening of symptomology* is increasing slowly and I am optimistic that I may reach a place of safety. This has been the most significant progress to date. I have used hundreds of combinations during my journey and visited multiple traditional and alternative practitioners who were unable to help me. My approach covers multiple layers which is necessary since these are complex diseases. I have learned the value of scientific testing and continue to refine my approaches.

Artist: Kazimir Malevich

*I developed severe rheumatism with incredible chronic fatigue very similar to Lyme disease. Aberrant endocrine cycling including muscle and joint pain  are common along with cognitive, memory and other neurological symptoms.


Tuesday, June 30, 2015


"They just don't get it honey" were the words from a salty counselor I saw over a course of time. Though I disagreed with some of her observations and statements, she did have an understanding of what I was up against since she had experienced great loss not once but twice. Those words resonate within me and are an anchor in times of trouble.

Kazimir Malevich
 There is something that happens when one becomes sick, one becomes porous - vulnerable. That vulnerability needs to be patched. You learn quickly that not everyone is going to understand or offer good advice so you learn to not go where there is a risk of more pain. People can only give you what they have and if they don't have it, then it serves no purpose except to cause more frustration and pain. I have enough pain already.

In my intensive study I can only conclude that hype is the best thing that Western Culture has to offer. It is merely a glossing over of reality. Truth is oftentimes not pretty, but truth provides a beacon of light that we gravitate to, it is the most precious commodity one can find.

"you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free" John 8:32

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Mitochondrial Diseases & Psychiatric Disorders

There are an estimated 30 Trillion cells in your body. That number is 30,000,000,000,000. These cells all perform different functions from making up your eye, to your brain, immune system etc. The cell is made up of different components which do different things. Toxins destroy the functioning of cells. These toxins include chemicals in our environment, heavy metals and toxins created by pathogens.

 In this article, the authors discuss mitochondria dysfunction and its relationship with psychiatric disorders. This includes migraines, seizures, cognitive problems, autism, schizophrenia and others.

Proper detoxification and nutritional measures are able to get the mitochondrial functioning normally. Antioxidants are of particular note.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Psychological Aspects of Disability

 One of the bigger challenges of disability is the social aspect of it.  I have learned painfully that no matter how much evidence or logic one can produce, generally people will fail to accept you. The medical system is adept at this as I learned - their job is to process patients since medicine is a business model, an economic machine. 

One of the things I learned is when people can't understand something they lunge for an easy answer even when their logic is wrong. I suspect that has to do with both deficits in IQ and in EQ (emotional intelligence). Forgive me if I sound brazen. 

Psychology understands the Herd Mentality and you can see that exhibited in American society  which largely depends on the media for its information and viewpoints.  If the mass of society believes something then it must be true, this is an error. If you fight against the trend then you will suffer being castigated. Herd mentality is an avoidance of thinking for yourself and drawing conclusions that are based on logic and reason, it is the easiest path to follow. If we find out later that we were wrong then the course is reversed. No one likes looking the fool. I think that most deny the truth since it opens vulnerabilities which we naturally do not like. "If it happened to him, it could happen to me" they reason. The fear of the vulnerabilities cause us to dismiss the truth and find other explanations or perhaps avoiding the situation all together since it makes us uncomfortable. 

Sadly most emotional responses are faulty, rather than attempt to understand the problem people resort to other means to cope. Anger, resentment, blaming, hatred, castigating and avoidance are common attributes for this.  Most reach for answers that are incomplete and illogical which do nothing more than cause more harm.

Something happens in the body/mind/emotional axis when a person gets sick, perhaps is the hopelessness and lack of resolution. Others describe it as being porous, vulnerability would be another example. Science has demonstrated that auric fields exist, these fields are electro-magnetic and surround the body. Thoughts do not necessarily come from just the mind but a network of senses including our electro-magnetic field. This is why we feel comfortable around some people, places and things and uncomfortable around others. Harmony would be a good word to use.

Having a disability is something people do not choose, they do not use it as a crutch but rather they are courageous and innovative people who have learned to cope in a difficult society that refuses to help them carry their cross.

Hold the mouse below this message that links to an excellent article about the social aspects of disability.
more reading on social aspects of disability

Sunday, April 12, 2015

From time to time  you begin to reflect on your life and what direction you are pointed in. You take an inventory of sorts and try to see yourself and your actions from another's perspective. Sometimes you see good and sometimes you realize you need an adjustment.

  • First do no harm. 
  • Help - don't hurt 
  • Have the courage to admit you are wrong and make the corrections to make it right.
  • Forgive and choose to see the good

Thursday, March 26, 2015

The Road (I & A)

I have learned through many painful trials that the Road can be cruel. For some the Road can be tangled for others it is easier, this is rarely due to 'good choices' but requires a cauldron of good fortune. We attribute our success to ourselves which is not always the case.

A community is a group of people. The concept of community is that the sum is greater than its parts. Ideally a community is a microcosm of people that contributes to the whole so that all thrive in which the community is paid back. In theory it is a win-win situation.

Through our path we come to kinks in the road that we are incapable of understanding so wisdom would teach us that we ask for perspective from others. We rely on this information to be accurate and good.  If the information is wrong, we risk diverting from the path even further and finding ourselves in more difficult circumstances.

 I have learned that in order to solve a problem, one must know what the problem is. I have found that most people guess at things and stamp their imprimatur on it to avoid looking foolish. Sadly this is the equivalent of wrapping muck in a nice decorative box, on the outside it looks pretty but inside is rotten.

You can never give someone what you don't have. If you come to the kink in the road, find someone who has walked it and not someone who thinks they have walked it. 

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Gut/Brain Axis

Science is making new discoveries all the time. One key study revolves around looking at the body as a complete organism rather than from a singular perspective. For instance a disease rarely affects one part of the body, often it sets off a domino like effect. Traditional Chinese Medicine understands this clearly.

Diseases of the nervous system (depression, anxiety etc) have been shown to be caused by outside forces rather than the archaic idea of 'mental illness' which is nothing more than a stigma cast by ignorance.  Poor nutrition plays a key role in this which has been known for decades. However new research is showing the relationship between the gut and brain.

This researcher explores this concept in this article:

his presentation: