Anyhow he commented that he had never seen such suffering in a person than myself as my suffering went well beyond the current struggles I was facing. I was deeply entrenched in a situation that nobody could get me out of (being sick) and faced multiple struggles such as losing a business, financial struggles, ridicule from many people and the psychological stress that these events perpetrate. I was deeply entrenched in my Lord at the time spending considerable time in contemplative prayer as I was considering a vocation in the church. We talked about suffering in general and in terms of faith. Inevitably we discussed the American mentality of entitlement, how in many parts of the world people suffer at the hands of oppressive governments, famines, disease and the like, yet we have no perspective of this in our sheltered American life. With entitlement comes greed, avarice and dissatisfaction with things that we are privileged to have, but I suppose that comes from perspective. Entitlement kills our spiritual life since we no longer foster appreciation or value anything, an exploitation of sorts.
A disability is like a pruned tree. The tree cannot grow upwards like it once did but instead it finds new growth. Disabilities can disable you but disabilities can force growth where there was no growth. I am both weak and strong an anomaly of sorts, as with disability comes great strength that must protect the vulnerability. Embracing our weaknesses makes us stronger.
(if you find yourself in a bad situation and need some encouragement, please let me know)