Whitney & Self-Blame

 I follow quite a few people on Twitter that are suffering with CFS/ME or LC (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) (Long Covid) and a consistent stream occurs; they are ignored, ridiculed and condemned. 

Having to cope with a disease that doctors are unable to fix obviously creates stress but to get kicked while on the ground by others who chose not to understand is another. I found that people who engage in this have defects of their own.  These are people who suffer with either Dunning Kruger Syndrome or have poor social skills, these poor skills tend to irritate those people the most and for good reason. 

        The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias whereby people with low ability, expertise, or experience  regarding a certain type of task or area of knowledge tend to overestimate their ability or knowledge. -Wikipedia

Whitney Dafoe is a ME sufferer and wrote the following his blog:

https://www.whitneydafoe.com/mecfs/?post=self-blame

If I could be doing something I would be. I never choose inactivity. If I am inactive, it is because I am too sick to be active.

I need to keep repeating this to myself over and over sometimes. It’s so hard not to blame myself, to think I could somehow be doing more. To blame the discrepancy between my dreams and what I am able to do physically on my mind or thought process. I try to "psych" myself into doing things a lot. But when I am healthier I do more. I always do as much as I can within my limits.

This is suffering that is directly caused by the prejudice we face; ME/CFS not being recognized by society, the government, the scientific or medical communities not to mention friends and family as being a legitimate illness and having all of our symptoms called into question constantly. If we were treated as legitimately sick people and our illness was understood, none of us would have these thoughts of self doubt.

A lot of the suffering we face is caused by society. Not ME/CFS. Society piles onto the people with the biggest burden and makes them suffer even more. Someday they will look back on this time and shake their heads with disgust.

Until then we need to remember. It is not our fault. It is not our fault. It is not our fault. IT’S NOT OUR FAULT.

When you feel like you can’t do something, you can’t. It’s not your mind, it’s not depression, it’s not a bad morning, it’s not your coffee, it’s not your cereal, it's not the side of bed you slept on, it’s not the monkey at the zoo. It is you being sick and not having the health to do what you feel you can’t do.

The bottom line is that if you feel like you can’t, you can’t. Listen to that inner voice of weakness or strength to make decisions, not the voice of the world’s prejudice. You know your body instinctively. Listen to your body. Respect your inner voice. It’s guiding the way. it’s not a pretty way, but it is the only way.

IT’S NOT OUR FAULT.

Love,

Whitney 

Art by El Lissitzky

El Lissitzky - Wikipedia

The Gossiper

 Someone I know quite well lamented to me about a situation within his community in which half-truths were propagated against him. Naturally, it hurts anyone to know that people find weakness for exploitation, this person is no exception. This is clearly an American sin that knows no boundaries. America is a Godless country that has lost the sense of decency and what is right. It prides itself on false pretenses. 

I ask myself why people resort to such behavior. Why they take a rumor and use it as a weapon to destroy a person. I myself have been victimized by this a number of times from unscrupulous neighbors, co-workers and people in the Church. 

There is a difference between talking about someone about mundane subjects and another about malicious gossip that is designed with one thing and that is to destroy someone's reputation. In particular, there is a difference between reporting facts versus distorted facts, again this is to destroy people. 

Gossip is evil. 

 “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” -Book of James 3:6

I do not know anyone who is without fault (sin), it is impossible. Even the most "perfect" among us has faults. The person who readily admits their faults and helps others who are less fortunate are the most admired in my opinion.

No one is without fault. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23).

Of course, many people lack self -realization which blinds them to their own shortcomings. Jesus spoke clearly about judging others.  

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged."

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite!  First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye."

Some facts about gossipers:

1/ Gossipers fall into the temptation to destroy a person because they are undisciplined and gullible. They lack critical thinking skills. They certainly lack proper judgement skills to correctly interpret information, so they jump to irrational conclusions. 

2/ Suspect that they are mentally ill or at the very least they are emotionally ill. 

2/ Gossipers are weak people, they are morally weak, emotionally weak and spiritually weak. They tempt others to join their weakness. 

3/ Gossipers will lunge at anyone so they can elevate their weaknesses. They use gossip to divert focus away from their own shortcomings.

4/ Gossip is as (if not more) evil than other egregious sins. 

5/ Gossipers have low IQs and low moral standards. 

6/ They are nosy and intrusive, they seek information not to help you but to exploit your weakness to others. 

7/ Gossipers should never be trusted (if they are gossiping about someone else to you, they are certainly gossiping about you to others).

What to do when faced with gossipers. First realize that they are weak in mind and spirit. Secondly realize they are not to be trusted, so seek out smart and mature people to help you. Remember that gossipers are like parasites, they need to feed on other people, at some point, they will find new victims and you will be forgotten.

Get the law on your side. US law allows for monetary damages for defamation of character. I took the opportunity to seek legal counsel and you should too. 

"Keep away from small-minded people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too can become great."  -Mark Twain

"Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people" -Socrates